


Casualty

by thesaddestboner



Series: Beyond the Glory [2]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Angst, Broken marriage, Divorce, Domestic Violence, Drabble, Gen, POV First Person, this is old
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-11-11
Updated: 2002-11-11
Packaged: 2018-05-27 02:29:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6266002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesaddestboner/pseuds/thesaddestboner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>The break-up of two marriages through one person's eyes.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Casualty

**Author's Note:**

> Another Hull ficlet inspired by _Beyond the Glory_ 's Brett Hull profile.
> 
> You can find me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/thesaddestboner) and [tumblr](http://saddestboner.tumblr.com).

I think I'll rest awhile  
so nice here on the tiles  
the lights come washing in  
I see you there over me  
shining your new trophy  
I'm a casualty of you  
just a casualty of you

\- Snake River Conspiracy, "Casualty"

***1972***

"Bobby!"

"Shut the fuck up, Joanne!"

"You've been out drinking!"

"What the fuck is it to you?"

"You'll wake up the children!"

"I have a right to see my kids if I want to!"

I close my eyes and cover my head with my pillow. 

"Fuck, Joanne! Don't touch me!"

"Get out of my house! I won't have you in here, drunk!"

"My money _paid_ for this house, Joanne!"

"Bobby! Keep your voice down!"

I try to drown out their voices. Nothing I do works. Most of the time, I can just pretend I'm watching a movie, that this isn't my life. But not tonight.

"Bobby, let go of my arm!"

A loud, sharp slap.

"Fuck, Joanne! Don't you fuckin' touch me!"

"Get out."

I climb out of bed and shuffle down the hall, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. Bright, intrusive Christmas lights flood my eyes, and I blink.

My father reaches for my mother again, and she pushes his hands away.

"Don't touch me!" 

He grabs her by the arm, twisting it and pulling her against his chest. "You're my wife. I'll do what I damn well please."

I feel like I'm standing in quicksand, and I can't move, and my tongue is glued to the roof of my mouth.

I want to do something. I want to help her.

"Dad! Cut it out! You're going to hurt her." Bobby steps between them, trying to push Dad away from Mom, but he won't let go of her arm.

"Bobby, get out of the way," Dad growls, flicking his harsh gaze on my older brother. "This is between your mother and me."

"Bobby, listen to him. This doesn't involve you," Mom begs.

"Let her go!" Bobby wrenches Mom free of our father's hands and steps between the two of them. "Dad, just leave." He points to the door.

Our father shoots a lingering gaze on Bobby and Mom before storming out the door and slamming it behind him. The Christmas wreath falls to the welcome mat with the force of the blow.

Mom rubs her arm where he'd grabbed her and turns toward me, noticing me for the first time. "Brett!"

Bobby looks at me, witheringly. "Merry Christmas, Brett."

***1999***

"I know you're cheating on me." 

"You don't know anything. I'm not cheating on you, Alison."

"I _know_ you are, Brett! There's no use lying anymore!"

"I'm not! I swear!"

"Swear on - "

"I swear on my father's life that I'm not cheating on you."

"That's not good enough, Brett! Swear on the lives of our children!" 

"I - I - "

"You can't! I knew it! Anyway, I know you're cheating with that...that waitress, or whatever the hell she is!"

"Hostess."

"Ok, host - Brett! Fuck you! I _knew_ it!" 

Alison shoves me in the chest, and I stagger back.

"Alison, will you just settle the fuck down for a minute?" I ask, reaching for her.

"No! I will _not_ settle down! I shouldn't have married you! I know that now! I made a terrible mistake!" Alison sniffles, dabbing at her eyes with a piece of Kleenex. "I knew you'd never settle down! I _knew_ how you felt about marriage! I just fooled myself into thinking you loved me!"

"I do!"

"Oh, you do, but you just love your little whore too?" 

"Alison, calm the fuck down!"

"You're not even defending yourself!" she rages, slapping at my chest. "I thought you were different!"

"Different? From whom?" I snap back at her, angrily.

"Than your father," she fires back, pulling away from me. "You told me you didn't want to end up like him, and now here we are. Guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, huh Brett?"

"I'm _not_ my father!" I explode. "Don't you ever say that! I'm not him!" 

Alison backs away from me and I realize I've raised my hand to her, for the first time.

I _am_ my father. How stupid could I have been to think that I might escape his legacy? I'll always be Bobby Hull's son, no matter how much I want to step out from under his shadow.

I let my arm drop to my side, limply, let her angry words sink into my skin.

"You were going to hit me." Not a question, but more of a statement. Alison tucks a piece of brown hair behind an ear, hands fluttering nervously. 

"I - I would never have hit you, Alison."

"You had your hand raised," she accuses, weakly, letting out a watery laugh. "You were going to hit me."

I feel my knees weaken and I let myself fall forward, crumpling into myself, digging my fingers in the carpet.

Searching.

What is he looking for? Himself? He's nothing.

First, and foremost, he'll always be Bobby Hull's kid. 

A wave of nausea washes over me.

I'd tried so hard not to be like my father. I had believed that marriage was what was wrong, that you didn't need a piece of paper to make something legitimate. You didn't need a minister to make you husband and wife. 

All this time, I'd been wrong.

I'd been wrong about everything.

It wasn't the piece of paper, or the minister.

It was me. All along, it was me, my blood.

It was me.

**Author's Note:**

> The author of this piece intends no insult, slander, or copyright infringement, and is not profiting from this work. This story is a complete work of fiction and does not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. This is for entertainment purposes only. If you found this story while Googling your name or the names of your friends, hit the back button now.


End file.
